Friday, June 10, 2011

My Name in Black Gothic Letters :)

The realization of graduating didn't sink in when I heard from a friend that my name was posted on one of the school bulletin boards titled "Candidates for Graduation". It didn't sink it when my graduation pictures were taken nor when I saw it framed and in hard copy. It didn't sink in when I was sweaty and tired, standing in line, having my clearance slip signed. Nor did I feel it when we were up at our auditorium rehearsing, neither when I was fitting my gown and cap. I felt the actual graduation when, we were at PICC, about ready to toss our caps, victorious, diploma in hand. That half a minute of seeing all those graduation caps up in the air, was when I really felt the relief of all the hard work (can't really say "hard" for I graduated not caring about anything, just having fun). I could feel the happiness radiating from everyone and it seems all facial muscles were stuck to that stretched out grin not only from the triumphant students, but also, the faculty who felt they are responsible for half the victory and specially the audience, who were made up mostly of proud parents, head held high of finally achieving a lifelong goal of having their children step by step conquer higher education. I couldn't remember half of all the emotions I was feeling that moment. It was an emotional turmoil for all. Some were crying, some were laughing at each other. I felt happy mostly. Along with the feeling of excitement knowing I would be taking on a new challenge.There was the thirst to get going and prove myself to the world, especially to those who insisted I will never accomplish what I had that day.

There was no sadness at college. There were no tears from having to part with your friends like the drama there was at high school. Everybody was just happy it was over. No one cared if they didn't see each other again. Throughout college, goodbyes were inevitable. Everyone was used to seeing one person leave for some reason or another. Graduating from college wasn't a goodbye, it was a huge hello to a new world of the unknown professionalism of which, all students have had only but a brief glimpse of. Seeing that diploma in my hands, with my name written in Gothic black letters, I felt I owned the world and anything was possible. I couldn't wait to start earning my place in the society and proving I could be a success no matter what I had done in the past. There were a thousand possibilities, a thousand opportunities. I could conquer them all, I was king of the world!

1 month after graduation, I realized how very wrong I was. No new doors were opened for me, now that I can really call myself a professional. Yes, the strain of having to pass deadlines and do assignments were over, but the feeling of having nothing to do and nothing to look forward to for tomorrow was as more straining than all the school crap put together. Looking for a job was easy. They were everywhere, but choosing and finding the right one, was hell! When you start out having high expectations, you will most certainly be disappointed. Unless you're one of the people who are the exception to the rule, then you got it made. But as for the average lucky-go-happy kind of people, you will be eaten alive on the real world. Jobs are there but they are mediocre or do not live up to what you envision yourself doing. Jobs available offer low wages to trap ambitious graduates who think they are so great passing a company who is famous for the name. What they dont realize is that, the company, agency or whatever is trapping them, so the company could benefit from having fresh, eager and young, employees whom they can exploit by having them do overwhelming jobs or working for them 24/7 in exchange for low wages and crap benefits they wont ever get to use, plus the fresh grads would be so excited to even call themselves employed not to notice the exploitation.

Some, out of finding an easy way not get stuck in a rut, apply at call centers thinking that it would be an answer to their problems. I have nothing against the industry and to those who work there, I actually see great potential in working in a call center while waiting for a better job opportunity, but when you earn that much at a not so tiring job, except of course for the shifting schedules, some would doubt leaving an opportunity like that. They would choose to risk their health and subject themselves to a profession so far out of their chosen field of study, thereby wasting all their hard work of obtaining a college diploma and of course  disregarding all the skills acquired in the said studies.

With that in mind, here I am stuck at home doing nothing. Living day by day with nothing to look forward to, nothing to brag about, but the piece of paper with my name written in black Gothic letters. Wish me luck on the job hunting! I have to start sooner or later and if I were to start, I'd prefer to start at the bottom going up than the other way around :)

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